Saturday, November 17, 2007

My Lord

There is something incredibly comforting about devotional poetry. For something thousands of years old, I'm amazed that it's still fresh. That is, it's still relevant. The contempt, passion, anger, fear, hurt, joy etc. directed towards God in the 17th century is still expressed. By me. Today. First of all, this demands some respect. God has been putting up with the same old 'stuff' since Eve ate the fruit. There is nothing new under the sun when it comes to human depravity. But He listens.

Second, it's incredibly comforting to know that people in the past share my experience when it comes to God. To feel His outpouring love, followed by 'nothingness'- making you question if you ever really felt that close to Him in the first place. But He's there, a constant pillar. Sometimes I wonder if the pillar analogy works for me. Right now it makes me think of a God of stone: cold, distant, deaf and mute.
Is He? Maybe. There's got to be a reason why we all go through this. It's bloody frustrating. George Herbert, pastor of a country church in 1630, knows exactly what I'm talking about,

When my devotions could not pierce Thy silent ears
Then was my heart broken, as was my verse
My breast was full of fears and disorder;

Oh that thou shouldst give dust a tongue to cry to Thee
And then not hear it crying! All day long
My heart was in my knee, but no hearing.

As pitiful a sight it is to see someone broken, crying and on the verge of giving up- when I read this stuff it's comforting. I don't doubt God. I doubt myself. I covet His stability, or at least ask that He give me some of it. And this is where the leap is made between normal poetry to that of devotional poetry.
What's written down is not intended for an audience, it's intended for God. The direct pleadings, rantings, and praises we express are extensions of what resides in our very soul. What an incredible outlet, a remarkable method, a beautiful gift.
And there it is: I resort to language, this gift of God's, to express God's distance. Thank you God, for the gentle reminder.

2 comments:

Robyn deGroot said...

so true, so true. we always think we are alone in our struggles, but if we just look to other people, talk to others, we find that everyone goes through the same things. It is a comfort isn't it?

Rebecca said...

beyond belief. miss you Robyn
quite a bit