First off, it's amazing how much I love my son. I am not a baby person, but he's my baby, and it makes all the difference. Secondly, it's a transition. I feel like I'm on holidays from my job, but this "holiday" has me employed full time. I have to tell myself I'm not going back to work in a week or two, and I'm adjusting to that. I kind of like having a schedule that plans out my day, and now I'm finding the schedule is completely up to me-- but more accurately, it's up to Jesse.
I think this next chapter in my life is going to teach me a thing or two about selfishness and selflessness. Sure, being married introduced me to the concepts, but not to the same extent. Jesse poops, pees, pukes, and cries whenever he feels like it-- and that's where I come in, whether I feel like it or not. It's definitely an adjustment, especially because he seems to know when James and I just need to hang out, and chooses those opportune times to ball his eyes out.
Another thing is anxiety. I am not an anxious person, but having a kid has slightly changed that. The midwife thinks he might have a heart murmur, which I'm told isn't uncommon, but it still makes me anxious. A baby's heart seems like a very delicate organ... and then someone tells you it might have a hole in it. Yikes. But aside from that, it's a little overwhelming to suddenly have this little life in my arms, and realize that he is now a permanent part of our family, and it's James' and my responsibility to care for him... for a very long time. I'm excited, a little nervous, and definitely learning my new role as a "mum".
That said, I do love it. Really. And I am getting the chance to catch up with a lot of people and enjoy a slower pace of life.
This next week will be interesting. James is heading to California for a conference, and as much as I love spending time with my boy, it's wonderful knowing that James is around to share the love. I can't say I'm looking forward to him leaving for the week, but I'm thinking I'll pack Jesse up and spend some quality time at mom's. Grandmas love that stuff :) Here are a few more pictures of Jesse-- similar to week one, give or take a few ounces.
A bit ambitious, but here's hoping :)
Jen Geleynse knit Jesse one killer sweater. What a stud.
8 comments:
Hey Ree,
Im no expert by any means but I will tell you...those first 3 weeks are a tough adjustment, understandably, but they fly by. The next three go by even faster - and by six weeks you'll see a large 'maturity' jump. There is an end in sight of constant feeding, crying and all that. Promis. :) You can do it. It'll be a change without James around but you'll do great. Infants arent really my thing either - but Im sure you're doing a great job. Be well! :)
Ree, I was talking to Elisha today and she says that she has had a heart mummer her whole life.
Can Jesse call you "mum" for always?
Also, with his wing span, coach Grandpa, and Mom and Dad skills he has a good chance of being the next MJ.
Thanks Trine :)
So happy to hear you are all well. Hope you don't think it's weird that James' old teachers are reading this:) I had a really tough time with the first 6 weeks (with my first) and it gets so much easier. I totally agree with you on recognizing how selfish we actually all are. However, I will say, as the momma of 2, that it is important to make sure you take time out for YOU. Not necessarily now as I also had boys that ate every two hours, but eventually. Take those times to be a bit selfish. It makes you a better mom and wife. Just my thoughts:)
Gary liked the picture of James giving birth on the bed.
wish i could come hang out!! jesse's so cute!!
Ree! First of all, I am THRILLED that you are blogging again. I love reading your updates. Secondly, you have an adorable son. That sweater is stellar, and I can't wait to meet him in a few months!
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