Christmas Ramblings

The Christmas decorations are UP! Stockings, lights, candles, garland, eggnog, and Christmas music= one lovable apartment.

Things still to be desired--a live Christmas tree, presents under said tree, pointsettias, and Christmas baked goods. And Christmas day. But for that, I will be patient. The rest we'll get next week or something.

Anyways, I'm just glad I was up for the home makeover after a morning of stomach flu, sporadic vomiting, and 5 wasted hours of daylight due to napping. I don't nap. But I'm over the flu :)

Other exciting things that have happened this week. Savannah Joy Dykstra. My beautiful, healthy, chubby new niece. I love her. So do her brothers. Speaking of the nephews, James and I thought we'd take them off my sister's hands for the day so that she could just relax and we could just have fun with the boys. We took them to grandmas and made crafts, Christmas chocolate molds, and spent a good chunk of the afternoon outside running around. A lot of fun, but I am definitely glad that the way you start a family is with ONE, immobile, possibly quieter infant. Baby steps.

I'm onside with that.

Alright. The flu put me off my game, and I have a pile of essays just itching to be marked. Here I go.

A Good Feeling

Well, it's official. Our baby has all it's limbs, organs, and attitude.. and it was squirming and karate kicking my bladder during the whole ultrasound.

So, it's most likely going to take after me.

We are pretty pumped that the baby seems healthy, spunky, and REAL. Pictures can work wonders :)

So, I'm getting my "baby bump" and to avoid embarrassing "fat" questions from my students, I let the cat out of the bag and put them into shock. Now everyone that I come into contact with on a daily basis has been informed, and I will have to resign myself to the fact that people first look at my stomach before they meet my eyes.

Anyways, school is awesome. I love it. High school is definitely for me, and I am going to soak up the joys of it until I move on to phase 2 of the joy train. That means when teaching is replaced with baby love and diapers.

I'm already becoming that person who talks too much about babies. I'm referring to those moms who can only talk about their kids, like they themselves don't actually do anything. I'm hyper aware of this condition, however, and so I am promising myself to avoid it as much as possible. I'll start with my next blog and "other" happenings in my life.

Deal.

A familiar feeling

I'm antsy for things that I can't put my finger on. Like I want to go do something or be somewhere, and somehow I am still sitting here. Typing. The time is ticking before our little time bomb goes off in April, and then my world will change forever. I'm under no allusions here. Motherhood is going to be very different from "wifehood", which was very different from "singlehood". If these aren't words, they should be. I had this anstsy"ness" before I got married, because the "time bomb" was going off which meant a life change was about to happen, and so I had to do something crazy in the time I had left. Yes, "had left". If you gasp here, and think " what a horrible way to think of it.. time left'" then I think less of you.

Of course the start of something new means the end of something old. It's accurate.

Right now, I am thinking the "new" will involve great things, but in and among the great will be the reality of a dependent child. A tiny, little infant, who poops, and cries, and demands that I care for it (he/she) constantly. An awesome, scary, real responsibility.

And before I buckle down and get serious about being a mom, I am just letting you know that I am feeling antsy. I have four months left.

The feeling is not a new one for me. I know that. I'm a restless person, and so I learn to cope when I'm in these moods. Time to review my inventory of past coping strategies, so I can take my pick for the night.

1) Puddle jump

2) Run--fast.

3) Play a game of "21 up"

4) Go to South Africa

5) Go to England, Scotland, Ireland, Italy

6) Come home

7) Pull out my list of "dreams" and add to it

8) Get lost in a good book

9) Go to Petland

10) Climb a tree

11) Build a fort

12) Tackle James

13) Yell and make noises

14) Go outside

15) Drink a pint.

Ok, so there's a few on the least that aren't all that feasible. I think I'll just go grab my book.

After an afternoon downtown with my ESL class, and braving the city bus to get there and back on a time schedule (totally against my nature:), and then an afternoon/evening driving to and from Stratford with my grade 11 class, I'd say I'm just about ready to have my husband home, and a good relaxing Thanksgiving weekend.

That is all.

And either the baby is growing, or I'm eating too much. Pants are starting to wonder what's up.

Cold, wet, drizzly days= Ew.

Yummy treats, hot drinks, nice conversation, pad thai dinners, casual mall shopping, and basically being completely spoiled rotten = mom.

I love when mom visits. Especially on cold wet drizzly days. With James gone it seems like my social life is on the rise, and I didn't think we were lacking one before. So this is interesting. It's nice to know that people are looking out for me though; and not just people, but the people I love and care about the most.

On Sunday Trine came over to hang out, eat soup and help me get caught up with school stuff.

On Monday Ryan had me over for dinner, and Doug and I met up at Starbucks to get work done ( an idea that never materialized, but it was nice to just hang out anyways :)

And Tuesday--today-- mom came. She's wonderful.

She brought me a rust-coloured fall mum, and promised to baby my tropical plant back to health. I was sort of just starving it to death, having decided a while ago that it wasn't worth my time. (Don't get the wrong idea, I'm sure that callous side of me will rub off by the time April hits :)

Then we had coffee, and just hung out, and I realized we were on that level of "your my mom, but you're my friend" in a way that is not supposed to be sappy or lame, but in a way that makes me happy to be at a stage where we can talk about life and finally understand eachother.

Anyways, that was articulated poorly. All I want to say is that I have an incredible family here, friends included, and a mom who I very much hope to be like in so many ways.

unknown territory

So I'm in it-- the unknown territory of pregnancy. I suppose I should say "we're in it"-- considering it took two of us to get to this point, but it always rubbed me the wrong way when a woman says "we're pregnant". That's just not possible. Boys will never be part of that club, so why pretend?

Anyways, I'm in it. I suppose this explains my former blog entitled "Tiiiired"-- one of those little unknown facts about the first trimester. For a person the size of a bean, he/she really knows how to sap your energy.

So, tiredness. Not something I'm used to, nor can say I particularly like. As much as I love my bed, it is something I consider untouchable until my bedtime hits. So roughly 10-11 at night, it is acceptable behaviour to go to bed.

And yet, during those early unknown months of pregnancy, I was breaking a lot of my bedtime rules. This did explain my trouble staying awake on my 30 minute drive to and from Maple Leaf. I thought it was just because Trine was no longer there, and so conversation was minimal, as in nonexistent. But no, I was pregnant. And naps were glorious.

And then that urge to puke. What's that about? For those first "unknown" months (when in complete denial) , I actually believe that it was my will power alone that held things at bay. I would not throw up. If anything, I would get nauseous, then take a little walk to talk myself out of nausea.

I must say that once the undeniable facts were in, I puked. A little lesson on the power of the mind.

Getting hired last minute to work two teaching jobs was a huge blessing. No more nauseating drives to the farm. Now I had the wonderful opportunity to teach in a multi-cultural school, and take in all the wonderful ethnic food smells.

No one really tells you that your sense of smell is heightened when you get pregnant. What's interesting is that the things I'm not supposed to have I seem to naturally now find disgusting. Coffee, beer, sushi, soft cheeses... not on my priority list at the moment.

The typical pregnancy thing-- craving foods--- has not really hit me yet. My thighs thank me for this. However, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I hear the second trimester's a real treat for that sort of thing.

James has been so incredibly wonderful in all of this. We are both pretty pumped to be parents, although I know it will change our lives completely. But, being fully on side with change, I think it will be pretty cool, and James- well, I know he'll make one amazing daddy for the "little princess" that he thinks we'll have. To be honest, I think we are both hoping the first one takes after papa James. Every parent loves the shy obedient kid. We are hoping my personality kicks in around number 3 or 4. It's healthier for everyone that way :)

All in all, life is very good.

So I left off marking 40 essays all weekend, and now it's Sunday night, and the task still awaits me. I should have got them done Saturday morning, but sleeping in is a luxury that only comes once a week. It couldn't be wasted.

And then there was the annual pioneer day in Jordan Station, and no one should turn down something "annual" because they'll regret it for a year. Plus, the nephews loved it.

I thought I might get some work done at mom's, but it's just not possible. Between hot chocolate, snacks, conversation, bouncing nephews, and all that jazz, the papers sat untouched.

Of course my back up plan was to just get it done at Michelle's, where James and I would be babysitting on Saturday night, but at the last second I changed my mind, because James' was heading to Boston on Sunday, and I wanted to hang out with him. So we hung out with the boys, watched Winnie the Pooh, put them to bed, ate chips and ice cream, cuddled on the couch and watched Titanic. Classic.

Now I'm home, in our apartment, but James' isn't here and I'm just not feeling motivated. Might be the head cold/ husband being gone. Or maybe I'm just pregnant. I'll go with that one. Because I am, due in April, and feeling a bit nauseous. Time to eat some soup.